The Therapists
Powerful feelings arise during the separation phase.There is a sense of failure, incompetency and guilt, with the end of the old unhealthy relationship. A person becomes self-deprecatory and often compensates for the inner-directed negative feelings by blaming. A hallmark of the separation phase is confusion and disorganization, which causes considerable anxiety. There are fears of loneliness and isolation thinking of life as an individual and not a couple. Many report emotions of intense anger and resentment from the many previous hurts and disappointments, provoking reactions associated with loss similar to stages of grieving - denial, anger, bargaining, depression before acceptance. A therapist who is aware of the foregoing reactions to the structured separation will realize how the person needs support and clarity.